“I don’t fear death so much as I fear its prologues: loneliness, decrepitude, pain, debilitation, depression, senility. After a few years of those, I imagine death presents like a holiday at the beach.” - Mary Roach
For me, the territory inside my head- the space that’s on top and between my ears, the space above my eyes is an amusement park of devils, slithering sick monsters, and a version of me who’s always trying his level best to pull me down and demotivate me on anything I want to achieve.
Yes. I suffer from depression.
I’ve talked about depression before and my story of how I deal with it and my opinion on that.
It’s been a while since I last went to my counselor. I mean, to be honest, I would’ve never been able to go to a counselor in the first place if it wasn’t for my school (DeWitt Clinton & Montefiore Hospital). They blessed me with free counselling sessions and I remember that being one of the most useful antidote I’ve ever taken for me till date.
As of this moment where I am, sitting down and typing this, if I had not embraced myself and my depression along with the insecurities I have, I’d not be alive today. Straight up and simple as that.
I’d not have met amazing people down the road, I’d not have understood my talents on various fields, I’d not have experienced what love is and how to use it to stay alive on a day to day basis.
Depression leads to overthinking. Overthinking leads to anxiety and anxiety leads to stress which then leads to self judgement and that’s the territory you don’t wanna be in. It’s all like a chain reaction, a step by step guide to experience hell on earth, while you’re still breathing and people around think everything is okay and alright.
Now if you also have insecurities, which I firmly believe everyone has at least a few of them, you’re more screwed because your self judgement triggers your insecure self to rise up and take over your mental state. And that’s when things starts to fall apart. That’s when you start having thoughts of harming yourself, worst case- suicidal thoughts.
And that is a very important issue that we should all talk about more and more. So many lives are lost, so many talents are left unexposed, so many petals withered- all because of some thoughts that goes inside the head of a person! That is ridiculously crazy when one thinks of it, and it’s more ridiculous when someone laughs it away and treats it some sort of made up, annoying fantasy.
“Suicide is not the answer, to anything, for anything!” There are a lot of beautiful people around the world who’s loud with the statement but we have to be louder than ever as suicide is almost like an everyday incident happening in our society these days. Yes, just by someone crying it out loud with a serious face doesn’t really influence a potential suicide victim to stop having thoughts about it, but it can definitely influence the victim to think a little more about this horrendous act.
I’ll repeat it again-
Suicide is not the answer, to anything, for anything!
There’s always an another way. Always. You just have to have a little more patience and dig on.
Please try to understand depression. Please understand that there a lot of people suffering, clinical or not. Try to help them if you know they suffer from it. Talk to them, understand them, try to understand why they think of what they think. And if you’re not helpful, it’s still fine. Just please don’t be an ignorant prick and buzz of the topic away because that’s the worst thing you can do to a person who’s suffering from it.
Stay strong, family!
-Sabab
